Even after talking to you at length,
My life feels like a list of the bad things in it.
The good things are so feebly expressed,
Like they're not even there.
I can't express what I can't express.
Words are not your way.
My whole life, it feels like there's something I can't say.
I'm sick with what no one else is sick with,
And I have something I need to give away.
But I'm made to feel like someone who takes things.
My whole life, I'm made to feel like someone who takes things.
I try to talk to you but you don't say anything back.
I don't like a conversation like that.
I don't feel like I can say what I mean,
So I don't write what I mean.
I don't like a conversation like that.
I can't write what I mean,
And I'm a bad writer.
I don't like talking if it's like that.
I'm tired and I want to die.
I told you a million times, I don't like writing,
If it's me.
I can't express anything worth expressing.
I can't make anything with preserving or repeating.
I don't know how to do anything.
I'm too old to not know how to do anything.
The things I know how to do are things with no meaning,
Made of simple little patterns.
I am stupid and I don't learn anything new.
I am stupid and I don't learn anything new.
I can't make music so I try to make the words make up for it.
I can't draw so I try to make the words make up for it.
I can't write a story so I try to make the words make up for it.
After talking to you, my life feels like a list of bad things.
Mention a good thing. Or mention something.
If you do, I'll need you to mention it again.
That's fine, right? Even though you also get tired.
Do you get it? I'm tired.
All the line breaks and alliteration don't mean anything to me,
They mean the lack of saying what I mean.
I'm tired of holding my heart up for you,
I hate my heart.
I'm very tired of how it's done.
I'm very tired of how it's done.
Does each line mean something to you?
No one understands.
No one understands what I mean.
I love you because you understand.
You understand and you're trying hard too.
Why this way though?
Why this way though?
Why this way though?
I'm very tired of how it's done.
You understand, right?
You're making everything line up so it's fine in the end.
That's why I'll write it again,
That you're making everything line up so it's fine in the end.
What if I made the sheets full of blue ink dance around my feet like a whirlwind?
Horse stance horse stance.
What if I tested my weak copper courage?
Horse stance.
All the good things in my life are feebly expressed,
And my life feels like a list of bad things.
What if I tested my weak copper courage?
What if I punched the mist out of the way? What if I hopped on the fencing and flexed my cardboard wings? Then what?
And my life feels like a list of bad things, horse stance,
And you adore it.
And I will punch through the letters which mean nothing to me or you
And I will hold up my heart too
And your throne will hold up my heart too
And I'm very, horse stance
I'm very tired of how it's done.